I will never do this….I will never do that…When I was a single guy I said a lot of crazy things when I thought about the time I would eventually have kids. Well, that time has come and I look back at the things I said when I was single and think to myself, “What was I thinking?”
I wasn’t married until I was 30, which is unheard of here in Utah, but I am grateful that I did because I look at couples that got married young, or started their family at a young age then suddenly feel like they missed out and want to relive those days. I know I will never feel like I missed out because I have lived that life and when I decided to get married it was because I was ready for that moment. That is the same feeling I had when we decided to have kids too.
On the other hand, it’s probably good that I didn’t have kids when I was younger because some of the things I said were ridiculous. But what are the things I said when I was single and think is absolutely ridiculous now? Well, here you go:
- “How can your house be such a mess? It’s not that hard to keep it clean, but keep blaming it on your kids.” Clearly I had no idea what I was talking about. Have you been around kids before? If they want to get something out to play with it, they will do it. And they’ll get out everything else on the way to get it out. It gets tiring trying to keep the house clean 24/7, but we try our best. No parent is perfect, but the trick to making people think you are, is just to clean up the one room that you know visitors will see when they come over, just make sure they don’t want a tour because then you’re in real trouble.
- “I will never be one of those lazy parents that doesn’t get ready for the day when they go out in public.” Well this happens way more than I would like to admit. It takes forever trying to get two kids ready, then you think I am going to get myself ready too? I don’t think so. I don’t have time for that anymore. If I have gotten my own kids dressed, we are leaving the house asap because you never know how long they will want to keep that shirt on, or be able to keep it clean.
- “How do you go to sleep so early? What are you lazy? Maybe step it up a little and get some energy to be up past 8:00.” Okay, this is one that I never thought would be an issue, but seriously the second I put the kids to bed I want to go to bed myself. I am so exhausted from being at work, then chasing kids around and playing super hero or running around the neighborhood with them. Parenting is exhausting, but I also had no clue that you rarely get the sleep you used to when you were single, or newlyweds. I remember a day when I could take a three-hour nap and not be disrupted by a child jumping on my crotch. Now days, I am luck if I can get one kid to nap, then if I could get both kids to nap at the same time I would rather get things done than take a nap myself.
- “Your child is disgusting! I will never catch my kids throw up!” This is one of those things I said that I always wish I could go back and never say. Karma has come back strong on this one. Let me paint you a picture first, I was at a friend’s house before I was married and she happened to have little kids. Her daughter got sick and threw up to where my friend barely caught it and I said, “You’re disgusting!” Oh not to my friend, but to her daughter. Was I thinking that kids never get sick or that any age will let you know that they don’t feel well and that they would like you to take them to the bathroom so that they could throw up in privacy? Ummm I was crazy! One night, when my son was little, he got sick. He threw up in his bed, then I brought him into my bed and he continued to throw up. At least five more times, all over my chest, neck and bedding. I didn’t care because all I cared about was my child didn’t feel well and if laying on my chest and throwing up all over me made him feel better, then that is what we were going to do. Sometimes as a single, childless guy you don’t think about the fact that little kids get sick too and aren’t always able to let you know what’s about to happen. I will say, it has made for some fun adventures and seeing myself change in different situations.
- “I’m never going to dress my kids in matching outfits! That’s just so tacky and I don’t want to do that to my kids.” What was I thinking on this one? I love dressing my kids in matching outfits. Yes, I still think that it can be tacky, but it’s all about how you do it. There is a line and if you cross that line, you have entered into tacky-ville. Now what’s even better for me is when I can dress exactly like my son. Do we wear matching Elmo pajamas? Maybe, but it’s fun to dress up and go out in public wearing the exact same thing.
Of course these are just a few of the many things that I said as a single adult, but one thing’s for sure…never say never. Unless you’re talking about pets, because we will never own a pet.
