Lately I have seen numerous posts about adoption and people sharing their stories. I figured I would jump on the band wagon and share mine. It’s funny though because people never believe that I am adopted because I look so much like both of my parents, but I will tell my story anyway.
Adoption is such an interesting subject matter and I always love to hear what others have to say about it. I love hearing adoption stories because I want to hear how their experiences compare to mine.
On January 18th 1982, my adoptive parents received a long awaited phone call, three years in the making, that their little boy was finally here. Way back then, anyone interested in adopting had to fill out pages and pages of profile information. Anything from their interests, hobbies, family life, all the way to their extended family medical make up. Back in my day they tried to line up the adoption to appear as similar as possible to a real birth parent’s, interests, looks, etc. My parents had everything ready for me, but didn’t know when that glorious day would arrive. They had adopted my sister three years earlier and didn’t know if they would ever be able to get another. So imagine the phone call at work that you can pick up your baby. No warning. At least now a days the parents get lets say 9 months warning.
For years I wondered who my birth parents were and I would even make up stories in my head that I actually would get people to believe. In high school I would tell people that my parents were Shania Twain and Tim McGraw and they gave me up for adoption because it was so scandalous. They didn’t want anyone to know, but I was able to go to all their concerts anytime they were in town and go back stage. Seriously? The stories I would make up, just to try to fit in, were crazy.
I have always had a love for expensive things. I remember growing up watching movies like Troop Beverly Hills or TV shows like Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous. I felt like I related to these shows because my birth parents must have been part of this rich elite group of individuals, they just weren’t going to be able to afford my love for all of these things.
Where did these crazy ideas come from? Why was I always creating these completely imaginative families? Did I feel like something was missing in my own personal life? Not at all. How grateful I am for the family that I have grown up with. It never even mattered that I was adopted because it was so just a regular thing. I was just like everyone else and it didn’t matter if my parents birthed me or if they had to find other ways of getting me to them. I was part of a family.
I never really wanted to meet my birthparents because my parents (the amazing parents that raised me) were perfect. It’s funny because you look at a picture of me and my dad together and we literally look alike. How can that be though if I am adopted? I am a huge believer in genetics and clearly looking at science genetics plays a huge role in who we become because certain traits get passed down through our genes. I never really thought much about these traits until I became a father myself.
It is interesting to already start seeing traits of mine coming out of my son. When I see these I think to myself, “Were my birth parents humorous?” “Were they always the star and center of attention?” “Did one of them always need everyone to be focused on them?” I have been this way my whole life, but now I start to see my son doing these things and I wonder if these are genetic traits being passed down, or if they are just coming from my son seeing me and already starting to mimic what I do in life. If that is the case, then we are in big big trouble.
As I said before, my dad and I look a lot alike. I can’t help but think then that we start to look like those we are around. It is so crazy that the part that genetics has the most control of is what my dad and I have the most in common, our looks. Our personalities on the other hand, are completely different. I am outgoing and funny. My dad is serious, intimidating, and powerful, but my mom is funny, giggly and super caring. I totally take after her in the personality department.
I have become the person that I am today from amazing parents that have taught and raised me to become a hard worker, a gentleman, and are perfect examples of helping others. For me it didn’t matter so much as to where I came from, but where I was going. I never wanted to have the title of being adopted make me different than anyone else. But if I ever am different, I’ll always jokingly say it’s because I’m adopted.
